purpose. poems. pickleball.

A few days ago, or so, I posted about needing something to be passionate about. This has been something on my mind for awhile, but even more so these days. As I was looking around online I realized that one of my biggest passions is so intense, that there is almost nothing I can do about it because I am too emotional and sensitive to the issue. Animals.

I would LOVE to do more work for animals. Volunteer at shelters, etc. But, I simply cannot be in those situations. I have always been a huge animal fan and advocate. I do believe it was Katie Dargan and myself that started the animal club at Lincoln Elementary school! But, over the years, my sensitivity to the issue has become too... personal. Im not sure personal is the right word, but it is the only way I can really describe it. I have a lot of trouble separating myself from stories or images I hear about cruelty to animals. My imagination is way too vivid. Literally, I can no longer go into pet stores...or even walk by them and see an animal. It is embarrassing. I cry. I made the mistake a few years ago of letting myself go into one, Woof, at the square one mall. I was looking through the glass at an adorable maltese puppy. Without thinking, I put my hand to the glass as if I could reach through and pick it up. The puppy on the other side saw my hand and hopped over. With its little paw it tried to swipe the glass. I immediately lost it. I "teased" the dog. My mind constantly started swirling. All that poor dog wanted was for someone to play with it and there I was. I teased it. I then jumped to thinking of my own dog, Simon. I thought of how Simon and this dog were no different, I just happened to adopt Simon. I left the store in tears. Actual tears. I was horrified when 15 minutes later, tears were still trickling out of my eyes. All those puppies just want someone to love them. From there, my mind goes further and I make myself sick with the horrible thoughts of what happens to all those unwanted animals... all of those unwanted animals that are capable of loving, playing, licking, and cuddling that don't get a chance. I have to shield my eyes and go to the other side of the mall. It is almost under the realm of obsessive-compulsive. Even walking by the stores I get awful images of the animals being brutalized. It makes my stomach turn. Its almost as if I care too much and so I have to take myself away from it... because I can't handle it. I talked with Tim once about getting an animal from a shelter. I am all for that, however, I could never step foot in a shelter. I could not walk away from all those animals, each deserving someone to love them. I would love to help be an advocate for animals, but Im not sure how to go about it without emotionally digging myself into a hole. I know it sounds pretty dramatic, especially if someone is not an animal person, but that is really how I feel about it. I wish I could be a vegetarian. I have tried a few times, but inevitably give in to chicken. I went 2 weeks once, then my mom made chicken fajitas... whoops.

As far as poems, I don't see any of those surfacing on a blog anytime soon. Sorry folks. Haha. I will peruse my files and see if there are any I feel suitable... don't hold your breath though.

The Wellness I pickleball tournaments began this week. Which in my world is better than the world series and superbowl combined (although the puppybowl could be a close contender... anyone else know what puppybowl is>!) I am proud to report that so far, I am undefeated. :) Today, my partner and I had an intense match up and pulled out a tight win. I take pickleball very seriously, obviously. My golden moment came when a drop shot was hit and i semi-dove, ok it was more of a sliding split, and returned a little cross court drop shot to win the point. Ahh, yes, nothing like pickle ball to build up the self-esteem. I heard from the side line spectators today, "Miss Doherty is sick..." Even though I am twice their age, it is still every bit rewarding to beat the boys at sports. I love it. They act all cocky and tough... it's so rewarding. GIRL POWER! Just kidding. My partner was a boy today. We delivered... I need to get a good night's rest to be prepared for tomorrow, we have a big match. Five hours of pickleball is never enough. Plus, its an excuse to eat more carbohydrates!