25 Things.

I have seen this on a few different blogs and thought it might be fun... Maybe you'll learn something new about me ;)

1. I am obsessed with my niece... which works out well because we share a co-obsessiveness. I call her an enabler... How can I not be obsessed when she stands at her door and points at her neighbors red car, thinking its mine, and yells "RuRu!!!" at the top of her lungs. RuRu is my nickname... I dont think my sister was kidding when she said she was going to get an electronic fence around the yard of her new house. haha
2. I like even numbers better than odds, unless it is for something along the lines of a list, then it must end in a 0 or 5.
3. I have horrible depth perception in the car. I constantly hit curbs when parallel parking or taking right turns. My poor hubcabs.
4. If I could be a vegetarian, I would be. I am unable to give up chicken though. The longest I made it was two weeks and then my mom made chicken fajitas. Oops.
5. I can't touch glass that has just been washed. It has a squeaky feeling that gives me the chills. I hate it.
6. Along the line of glasses, when I take one out of the cabinet, I have to blow in it. Once when I was little I felt the need to take the glass on the top of the shelf in the very corner and there was a bug in it. It freaked me out, so I blow in them every time.
7. I don't (or very, very rarely) walk on floors without my socks on. It skeeves me out.
8. I can't step on a bathmat when I get out of the shower with wet feet. I always step out onto my towel and then into my slippers or flip flops. It doesnt matter where I am, I can't do it.
9. I sleep in socks. I hate not having my feet covered. Hmm, I never realized all these weird things with my feet. It's been since I was little... when apparently I used to stop what I was doing and claim "sock emergency". That was when my socks got bunched or slipped in my shoe. I still hate that.
10. When I was in elementary school I made posters about littering and hung them up around the school. I can't remember for the life of me what they said right now, but my mom remembered one and when she told me it recently... I was horrified. I was such a nerd.
11. I love doing crossword puzzles even though I suck at them
12. My grammar is horrible. Im embarrassed with each post at the mistakes I make. I'm sure it drives some of you crazy... Especially Gerard and his sister. haha. I read your posts about grammar errors and was like, "oh geez, they must have ulcers after reading my crap!"
13. Apparently if it was as common to label a child with A.D.D. in the 80's as it is now, my mom is certain I would have landed myself a diagnoses back then, as opposed to now. haha. She informed me that among many other embarrassing things I did, that I would fidget so spastically that I would literally fall off my chair. Good lord, I was a spaz.
14. I got a ring stuck in my front teeth when I was about 8 years old. Seemed like a good idea to put the ring in my mouth at the time. Guess not.
15. I came in 3rd, or shot, was it 4th, in the state foul shooting contest when I was in the 8th grade.
16. I am obsessive. My obsessions are extremely varied but range from thoughts, to foods, to objects. To name a few from my past, bagels, lip stick, my bag, sitting at a particular table in the library to study for finals one year, working out, reading, knitting, butterspray, thinking I was going to get hit by another car while I was driving, thinking my house was on fire, thinking a plane or helicopter is going to hit my house, sneakers, being among the first 5 cars at the gym on Saturday mornings, grades, studying, particular grades on things ... it goes on from there. haha. I wont scare you with the rest though.
17. When I was younger I had a teddy bear named "Bunny" (she liked to hop) and wanted to name my home-made cabbage patch kid "Rainbow of my Heart". Either my mom or sister told me that wasn't a name, so I changed it to "Willamina". I was seriously a strange kid. The fact that I had a home-made cabbage patch kid is strange as well. haha
18. I love the rain.
19. I would rather stay home than go out at night.
20. I was a cuddle maniac as a kid
21. I won a coloring contest when I was in preschool. It was one of those where you colored the picture on a paper bag from the grocery store. The day i got it, I went right home and started coloring. My hand started to cramp so I put on mittens and colored until it was done and then made my mom bring me back to the store to turn it in. I guess the obsessiveness started then. haha. We got family tickets to Disney on Ice and as soon as the magic mirror from snow white came out, i was scared shitless and tried to crawl down the row of seats.
22. I have a wild imagination and always believe someone is in my house or trying to break into my house.
23. One of my goals is to be more spontaneous. It isn't going so well.
24. This is my lucky number.
25. I love watching cheezy movies with a glass of wine in my baggy sweat pants. That is my ideal afternoon... and of course it would be raining.

road rage. don't you dare beed at ME!

I just got beeped at, honked at, whatever you would like to call it. The instant someone honks at me, I become livid. It is like, "how dare you honk your horn at me! I do nothing wrong in the car!" Ok, obviously that is not true... but being someone with little (or no) patience, I am not one to hold up a line of cars on purpose. Trust me. I see why road rage happens. I often find myself having to talk myself down or rationalizing why it isn't a good idea to try and ride someone's bumper because they deserve it. I should have a bumper sticker like this avatar, "Don't honk at crazy people"...

I realize that, while the jerky drivers surrounding us are enough to get the mildest tempered person agitated, the real issue here is my temper. I know this. I recognize it. And sometimes, I even try to work on it. Those are most of the steps right there, isn't it> I would not rank my temper as a characteristic I am proud of and most of the time, I think it is childish. Take for example last weekend when I was playing tennis with Tim... my anger outlash brought me to a new level of racquet destruction. Over the years of playing tennis I have been known to get alittle "frustrated" and in response, maybe smack my racquet on the ground. No biggie. Usually the cover guard on the top gets busted, but I can just cover it with some tape-stuff. The other day, however, my temper tantrum (really, that is what it was) came on quickly but with full intensity. There was barely an inbetween... After what was probably my 30th ball into the net, I felt that surge of anger. The one where I just don't even know how to get it out... before I know it, I smash the racquet on the court. I heard a noise I was not familiar with and I thought it sounded funny, but it wasn't until my next stroke that I realized, I had cracked the frame. Way to go Lauren...

That's usually what happens when you have a temper tantrum... you react without thinking and then regret the action.

I have gotten a little bit better over the years of controlling these temper outbursts. In fact, some of you may be thinking, "what temper>" I tend to come off as pretty laid back... which, part of me is, I guess... but it's more that the temper isn't a quality I like to let shine through.

While I am addressing some not-so positive attributes, there is one more thing I would like to mention. My knees. I need spanx for my knees, seriously. They look like an 85 year olds droopy elbows. They have quickly risen on my list of preoccupation. I'll be happily enjoying a tv show and then, there they are, the droopy, squishy, knee rolls. When I am out walking, they kind of, wiggle or jiggle. I know spend 70% of my walk dissecting them (the other 30% staring in Simon's eyes...yes, we tend to walk looking into each other's eyes... haha). Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I couldn't stop thinking about these knee caps of mine and what on earth I could do about them. I think I need a procedure, a modified eye-lift type of deal. Or, I would have to really bulk out my quads, especially the vastus medialis (the inner quad muscle that connects down to the top\side of the knee cap... in other words, the exact location of my 85 year old elbow).

A few months ago, a good friend of mine (and probably my only avid blog reader, haha) commented on having a "fat knee" day. At first, I internally scoffed at this. First, due to the fact that this person is pretty much absent of any body fat what-so-ever, so I thought, how on earth could she have a 'fat knee day' (and yes, i realize that everyone can have days that they feel "fat" or uncomfortable regardless of their size ;) and secondly because i thought, "fat knee day>" what is that... Then I realized, Oh my gosh... this is a term for the loathing I feel of my own knees. I just never realized it could be termed. haha. Just for clarification, her comment did not contribute to my own preoccupation with my knees... it just made me feel like, "hey, other people feel bad about their knees too!" haha. Being a woman, you tend to hear a lot of other women complain about body parts, but usually its hips, legs, stomach, etc... But, knees, not so much. So, i guess hearing it was just... strange... but at the same time something I related to. One more thought, complaint, whine.... I didn't think knees were supposed to get droopy before 30. I feel like by the time I am over 40 I will need to have a little device that holds my knee cap skin up so that it doesn't impede my walking!!!

I hope some of you enjoyed the Love my Doll documentary. I do want to clarify that I was disturbed by the show, but I found it to be so funny, I couldn't get enough. My sister watched five minutes and then called to tell me that both Tim and I are strange and disturbed. I had to disagree. Maybe if I had thought, "Oh, finally, these people understand me!", then I'd be disturbed. haha. But, i had to recommend it for the laugh. It is beyond creepy... which makes me love it that much more. haha.

Anyway. So today's lessons:

1. If you are driving anywhere near me, do not beep at me because I will try to run you off the road! haha...

2. If you dare to play tennis with me, be ready for some really childish behavior, lots of swearing, lots of self-deprecating comments, and I guess entertainment because I look like a tool

3. Spanx needs to develop a special "knee cap" edition to keep those babies tucked and lifted

4. I still think the Doll documentary was the funniest thing ever... in all its horror

i hope he won...

love me. love my doll.

i don't even know where to begin with this... all i can say is if you have on demand... YOU NEED TO GET ON IT!!!! I promise you, you will not be disappointed. go to TV entertainment... then to BBC Reveals...then, love me, love my doll.

there are no words to explain this... well, maybe, "my sweetie is going to be away for some time..." his sweetie, made of latex, is going to a "doll doctor" 5,000 miles away. "when she returns, this will be like a second honeymoon".

This documentary is blowing me away. Tim and I are both open minded, but this has seemed to go beyond the realm of comprehension. I find my myself busting out in laughter... and then feel guilty. I can't help but look at these people and think, "how sad" or "what happened to them that was so bad, that their only love comes from a doll." After the guilt subsides though, I can't get past some of these quotes from the men being interviewed.

I think that tonight, I officially heard Tim laugh the loudest I have ever heard... maybe it was when they had the nipples of the doll blurred out... or maybe it was when one of the men (shown below pouring coffee to his woman) posed on the self timer with his two ladies... there have been too many times to count. Really, you need to see this with your own eyes... http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/245/index.jsp

oh boy, i hope their hair comes out right, i'd hate to get their wrath!