spice up your life.

I've been thinking about this blog a lot... for many more hours than I'd like to admit... and what I keep coming back to is... I have no direction for it. I have never written anything, anything personal that is, that I have intended for people to read. I have shared things I have written, but it was either in an impulsive drunken forward or on an anonymous basis. So, I am finding this whole blog to be a bit unnerving. One thing I have been thinking about in particular is what it is that I am so afraid of "sharing" on this blog that I wouldn't share with each of you individually. But that in itself I am unable to answer... maybe because of all the dependent factors: am I drunk when sharing, and I under hypnosis, have I finished a pitcher of Miller Lite at the Dockside, etc... I have been writing for awhile. I write all different types of things, but like I said, none of it is written with the intent of showing it to another person. That is why I find my reaction to this blog to be so interesting and in many ways.. so telling. I just realized, every sentence but 2 begins with an I. Hmm. That must be a writing no-no.

I had a lot of time in my car today. I had a little trip down to good ole' RI. (disclaimer: Emmy, I was meeting up with Sue this am and had to get back for something this afternoon... that is why I did not call to meet up!) Before I get into the overly emotional nostalgic description of my day... I must touch upon something of great importance.

My new playlist.

I hit the roads this morning, giddy with excitment over my new playlist. All I can say is, it delivered. I could've driven cross country! There were some specific highlights I would like to touch upon. (Disclaimer #2: I did not mean for my first 2 posts to be in list form... it just so happened to work out that way :)

1. I'm obsessed with "A Fine Frenzy"

My latest download, "Whisper" is amazing. I can't say enough for this group, well female singer. Each song I hear, I immediately fall in love with. Her voice is amazing. Her lyrics are great. It just doesn't get much better. If you haven't listened to her... then get off your ass and look her up. So many good songs, you really can't go wrong... Almost Lover is now played on the radio (insert the noose around the neck impersonation here... nothing kills a song like having it released on the radio...) A lot of the songs are slow ("Drive off a cliff" according to Danielle...aka. my favorite) but there are some great upbeat ones too.

2. I'll tell you what I want...

"I wanna zig a zig ahhhhhh." Whatever the hell that means... I have no clue. But what I do know is that "Wannabe" by Spice Girls makes me drive really fast. That song is underated. haha! It brings back a strange memory of the girls locker room in high school before a basketball game...someone got the single (on tape). That song just makes me happy. Maybe I will listen to it every day. Oh, and I was extremely impressed with myself as I sang right along barely missing a word, until the little breakdown part, I had to take a breather...

3. Hooters

No, not that Hooters. The other Hooters that makes me drive even faster that the Spice Girls. "And We Danced"... a blast from the past. Another song that just makes me happy... Nothing special about this song, just a jazzy tune and some good cheezy beats bumpin' in the background.

4. Shakespeare what!>

"Stay" by Shakespeare's Sister. This song is slightly creepy, but addicting. It reminds me of my sister when she was in college-- here is a shout out to any UMASS people. I used to love this song. The magic of technology has reunited me with it... It sounds like something that should play in a murder scene of a movie...yet, I love it. Go figure. I'm wierd like that.

5. Pick a name people

"Check It Out" by John Cougar or is it John Cougar Mellancamp. Who the hell knows. Why can't someone just take a name and keep it... yes, I'm talking to you Prince and P. Diddy. This song just makes me want to do something productive. I can't explain it well... but, I hear it and I want to go save the world. But, I'd need a superheroes cape for that... Love the tone of this song though.

6. Mo' Money Mo' Problems

The first chord of any Mace and-or Puff Daddy (back in the day) song remind me of frat parties in college. Of course I had to hear a few of those on my journey back... I could just smell the stale beer on the floor and stench of an "all male" living arrangment. Busta brings me back to those times as well... Hey Em, remember the night we got dressed up to go out and some asswipe threw a mud balloon out the dorm window. That was awesome. It hit the stair in front of us and covered us in mudd. Good stuff. Lucky for me I had on black Dr. Martens so it wiped right off.

7. Tarzan Boy

I have unleashed the greatest 80's song. This may possibly be the song I drive fastest too... Baltimora, Tarzan Boy. Impossible to type the little jungle chant out, but boy can I nail it vocally.

8. Katie Melua & Yael Naim

I just love the sound of their voices (2 separate artists) and the distinct sound of their music. I had to throw them in here.

9. Heather Nova & Mat Kearney

I'm starting to double people up here cause this blog might turn into a novel. Lyrically, they are amazing. Love, love, love them.

I had to cut myself off there, otherwise I would've walked you through my entire drive and I hope you have something better to do than read that!

Now. On to the campus trip. Each time I go to that campus, I get a funny little turning feeling in my stomach. I can't figure out exactly where this stems from, but somewhere along the lines of realizing that life always goes on. I think of people I love and care about from those years and how our lives just continue on. It's moments like these (the rides down and back from URI) that I get strangely deep. Even deeper than usual for me, which is frightening. I don't think I could accurately describe the thought process in my mind regarding all of this, but it does follow the lines of what I mentioned already as well as the reflection of where I am at this point in my life in comparison to where I was and where I could be.

I stood in the middle of the Quad today and looked at the space around me. So much of the campus had changed, yet so much was the same. (cliche quote, I know) Just stepping foot on the campus brings back flashbacks of memories, most of which I'd like to forget. Yet, through all of those memories, I have held onto the good ones which make me love and miss URI so much. In my last, or first I guess, blog I talked about regret. That is what URI represents to me. Regret. I think about that regret often and deal with it in my own way which means some combination of dwelling on it or ignoring it.

The campus has changed, that is for sure. I met up with Sue today and for those of you who know who Sue is, that is embarrassing enough that that is my familiar face to return to... But, Sue and I went to the "new Hope" dining hall. Wow. It is a far cry from the old Hope. There will be no "Kimmy" scenes at this new Hope. haha. It's AMAZING. I ordered my nonfat sugarfree carmel mochiatto while Sue munched on pizza, looking strangely at my drink, haha, and we caught up. (oh, by the way, Hi from Sue to Marla and Emily) All I can say is it is a mixed blessing I am not a student at URI right now. The new Hope has Starbucks and a sitting room like Panera Bread with couches and a fireplace! I would've spent all my time there drinking coffee and typing... even if Starbuck doesn't have the "Tank", I would've lived there. OR, I would've lived at the NEW FITNESS FACILITY they are building where ROJO's is (was). I can't even fathom my life with a fitness center next to my dorm and starbucks literally across the street. That would have been dangerously awesome! But, no Rojo's!> I'd love to give a shout out to Cap'n Ken, wherever he may be! I hope he has found a place with yummy grilled cheese sandwhiches and chicken nuggest to replace those he had at Rojo's...

Some things in campus looked the same. The canon was in its place at the edge of the quad, I really wanted to jump on top of it and pose again. haha. Wheel's car was parked in it's official handicap spot in back of Roosevelt Hall. (Yes, I look to see if it's there each time and I chuckle when it is...) There were girls in black yoga pants that were most definitely from a sorority and NJ, there were loud rap songs blaring from speakers of a low riding Honda, Hopkins Hall balcony (shit, I forget our room number) looked unassumingly entertaining, and there were squirrels running rampant. Oh and parking SUCKED.

I'm losing track of this blog. I figured this would happen. How did I want to end...

I bought Maddy her first URI shirt today... when she is a little older, I will get her the necessary URI hooded sweatshirt to match her Aunt. They had the grey Phys Ed hooded sweatshirt which would be quite appropriate. (I had to mention Maddy at some point...)

In closing. A-hem, clearing my throat. My trip to Rhody was brief, but successful. I escaped with a less that average anxiety attack over the thought of getting old, warded off a severe International Pockets craving, and somehow avoided a ticket in my illegal parking spot! That may be the most amazing feat of all! I laughed as I drove by the chemistry building and noticed a campus security car parked on the side where the street was. I thought back to when I had class in that building and the ridiculous parking spots we made up. Doesn't look like that was happening any more.

URI will always be special to me, as I know it will be for those of you who went there as well. While a lot of the memories I have from those years are difficult to think back on, there are so many more goods ones that shine through. It was at URI that I learned and experienced the true meaning of friendship. I saw how an old friendship could bend with life experiences and bounce back to its truest form due to the foundation in which the relationship was built upon. I met new friends that have become an integral part of my life and could never imagine my life without. Through struggles and smiles all these people and experiences have contributed to the person I think I am today. Which I believe, is much better than the person I was going into college.

Wooooo... cause we're Rhode Island born and we're Rhode Island bred... and when we die we'll be Rhode Island dead, so... Go Go Rhode Island Island, Go Go Rhode Island Island, Go Go Rhode Island Island... U-R-I!