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3.12.2009
3.02.2009
I'm baaaack
Well, I'm back.I'm sure everyone has been on the edge of their seats awaiting some sort of riveting post from me. I thought today would be the perfect day, as I sit here on my couch still in my pajamas (watching "Center Stage"), with a smelly dog on my lap, and thoughts of school far-far away. (This day is really going to suck in June when we make it up. boo)
So, I am hobby hunting. I'm not sure if I really need a new hobby... I already have many and in true A.D.D. fashion I start one and never finish it before hopping on to another... A couple years ago I went through this same yearning for a new activity, however, this came during the same semester I was in full time grad school, completing my internship in guidance, planning a wedding, and advising the senior class. Needless to say, I didn't get any further than a few good intentions and googling badminton groups in the greater Boston area (by the way, still extremely interested in badminton...oh, I'm definitely going to google pickleball groups!)
I could see this hobby/activity endeavor going in a few directions. I want to try new things. Find something that excites me. Something that makes me feel good about myself or that I feel successful at. I realize that nearly all of my hobbies and activities leave me feeling inadequate. Though, what makes me think that a new hobby wouldn't do the same thing? I guess we'll find out. This adventure (oooh, hobby adventure, i like that) falls on the tails of my new outlook. Ok, maybe this new outlook and attitude on life hasn't fully taken hold, but this here may be what I need to ignite myself.
What is this new outlook, you may ask? In my last post, I mentioned briefly about the loss of my sister-in-law, Lindsay. Experiencing the loss of someone so young definitely makes you think about life in a much different way. I watched my brother-in-law and his family and felt inspired by their love and support for each other, especially during such a devastating time. I have always admired his family and been envious of how affectionate they are. They are the type of people that greet you with a huge, two arm, embrace. They aren't ashamed of kissing or hugging. Letting people know they are loved. Along with this, they have a sense of togetherness. Fun seems to follow them. The more the merrier. I listened to them reflect on memories of vacations, spur of the moment celebrations, and endless (hysterical) stories and realized that there is more I want to experience in this life. Being a carbon copy of my father, I tend to limit my experiences due to technicalities. For example, everything needing to be planned to the last minute (and planned by me). Or the possibility of sitting in traffic means something is not worth going to. I could go on for quite awhile, but I'm not so sure I should let everyone into that part of my mind. haha. Tim and Lizzie (Danielle too, if she reads this?) are probably nodding because they know this part of my mind all too well... or can relate with it ;) But, getting back to the point, my eyes were opened. I want to try and change some things... have more fun... be less rigid... try new things even if I can't be in control of every single aspect of it! So, this hobby adventure is connected. Where will it lead.
Here are some ideas. Art classes of some sort. I like to make things (enter concerns about finding a hobby that make me feel good about myself) or create things. Maybe a jewelry making class? Or, a photography class? Or even a knitting class. Well, probably not. :) The other direction I would take this is by finding a new physical activity. Part of me would love to play volleyball again. But, I've done that. Maybe something new? I was really interested in getting into racquetball or squash... Or maybe a kickball league?
The biggest challenge is going to be moving this beyond good intentions and taking action. Although, with probing, last week Tim and I did go to trivia at a local bar. That is a good step for me. It involved going out on a school night (after 4 pm!) And, I had fun... and will probably go back again this week! The fact that it was super casual and there were people there in sweat pants definitely helped the scenario!
So, any suggestions? Or anyone interested in jumping on this hobby adventure bandwagon?
1.25.2009
been awhile.
It's been awhile since I have sat down and thought about a blog to write. Now that I'm here, I don't even know where to begin.
I was contemplating whether or not to even come back. I'm not sure what purpose this serves. My posts are not about anything particular... if anything they are just a form of a public journal. So, what is the point> (damn, I really wish I had a question mark key that worked.) The inner ramblings of my mind are usually quite comical, at least the things I can hear, however when I sit down to type, it doesn't seem to come out. At any rate, I am back. I figure it can't hurt to write some things out and if someone is bored by it or doesn't want to read it, then they can just click on the little X on the top right corner of their screen and be out of their misery!
The past few months have been a whirlwind here. Some good, some bad, some devastating, some fun. The MHS freshman girls basketball team is taking the Middlesex League by storm. And my what a fierce team they are. ;) It has been an interesting experience to be the head coach of a team, when I have spent all my time thus far as an assistant. It has also been interesting to go from the varsity team to the freshman. If I see one more lay-up smash off the back board or loop up over the backboard, I might literally have a coronary. Just hit the freaking shot already. Sorry, they are the bane of my existence, along with foul shots. Really, are they that difficult!> Apparently in freshman basketball they are. But, it's been a great season. The girls are fantastic, they have fun, they work hard, and we're winning! Thank god! When we were losing to Watertown (no offense Gilly!) during the first game I had images of myself resigning and never showing my face again in the basketball arena. Luckily, we pulled it together. It was a scary few minutes though. It was also during those scary few minutes that I had another one of my "aha moments" , as Oprah would call them...
The thought of losing petrified me. I was standing on the sideline and forced myself to think, "What if you lost>" My stomach started to turn and I felt pure anxiety rush through me. It is a feeling similar to what happened every single time I turned in a paper or exam during grad school. What if I didn't get an A> Then what> The results are somewhat out of my control. That is terrifying. One reason I almost didn't take the position was out of fear of losing. That (and time commitment) is why I passed up the J.V. job. I've lost plenty of times in my life as a player, but over the past years we have won so much. Not to mention, the 9th grade team has gone undefeated for the past few years. So, the fear that a loss would come with me coaching was too much. It's strange the ways in which my perfectionism rears its ugly head. I am one of those people that fears so much of not doing something just right that they won't even start. I have a feeling that losing a game would have the same impact that one of my grad school grades had on me... meaning I never let it go and god forbid anyone brings it up because then it all comes back full force. It's like PTSD! Anyway. I'm special, I know that.
New Years was a blast. Tim and I trekked out to Corning, New York, for the event of the year- The Connor's- Platzer wedding. Other than the wedding itself, the highlight of the trip would have to be when Tim and I were spotted on the street and interviewed for the NY news. Yes, you read that right! Now, let me paint this picture for you. Snowing. Freezing cold temperatures. We had driven 6+ hours the night before, got into town around 11 and headed right to the hotel bar. Woke up the next morning feeling a little "off my game". Just tired, etc, trying to prep for the night ahead. Tim and I head out into the wonderful town of Corning looking for some essentials (like, a hair straightener or curling iron because I left both of mine at home- found a 2-in-1 actually! how perfect!) I looked smashing in my pajama pants, uggs, huge knit hat, and dress coat- and not a stitch of makeup. What a lucky day to get interviewed to be on TV! Seriously! Now, I realize that I am not the type of person that looks impeccable when I go out, but I usually have on mascara with my sweats, or at least a fleece jacket and not some dressy jacket that totally doesn't match! Then during the interview, I completely dropped the ball. First I was trying to take the microphone from the woman, I really thought I had to hold it to talk into it, I didn't realize she was just extending it out for us to talk into! Then, I got nervous and kept looking at Tim... Tim who sounded like he was running for office. It was not a shining moment for me. It reminded me of something that would happen to Bridget Jones. Like that scene when she is sliding down the fire station pole on tv.... yea, along the lines of that. But, hey, whatever! We still got an on the street interview! Who knew Corning was so hopping that they sent news stations out there.
Six months ago, when my Grandmother passed away, people kept saying, "Well, she lived a long good life". I know it was supposed to make us all feel better, but I remember thinking that I was glad she lived a long, good life, but why couldn't she just live a little longer> It is always hard to lose someone you love and care about, however, I now realize more than ever, that there is comfort in knowing that someone has passed after living a full life. This past week has been a difficult one, to say the least. It is hard not to reflect on your own mortality, or how fragile life really is when you experience the passing of someone so young. This is something I will post on in the near future, when I am better able to sit down and organize my thoughts. It is still too fresh.
Simon is hanging in there. Currently his ears are the problem. Its always something! However, the double yeast infections he has there are beginning to clear. It's really lovely. We affectionately call him "Cheese Wheel". That is disgustingly in reference to the smell of his ears. haha. Gross, gross. I know... luckily in all of its grossness we find it funny and somewhat endearing. Oh my little cheese head.
All in all, it's been a rollercoaster around here. I will be updating soon on some of the things I have walked with from everything that has happened in the past week and a half.... Hope everyone is well.
p.s. Tim and I have discussed this and have concluded that if anyone knows someone hiring and can get tim a position, then they will be compensated, or rewarded (whichever word makes you more motivated to achieve) substantially... we were thinking maybe a week long visit from Simon!> cheese ears and all!!!
I was contemplating whether or not to even come back. I'm not sure what purpose this serves. My posts are not about anything particular... if anything they are just a form of a public journal. So, what is the point> (damn, I really wish I had a question mark key that worked.) The inner ramblings of my mind are usually quite comical, at least the things I can hear, however when I sit down to type, it doesn't seem to come out. At any rate, I am back. I figure it can't hurt to write some things out and if someone is bored by it or doesn't want to read it, then they can just click on the little X on the top right corner of their screen and be out of their misery!
The past few months have been a whirlwind here. Some good, some bad, some devastating, some fun. The MHS freshman girls basketball team is taking the Middlesex League by storm. And my what a fierce team they are. ;) It has been an interesting experience to be the head coach of a team, when I have spent all my time thus far as an assistant. It has also been interesting to go from the varsity team to the freshman. If I see one more lay-up smash off the back board or loop up over the backboard, I might literally have a coronary. Just hit the freaking shot already. Sorry, they are the bane of my existence, along with foul shots. Really, are they that difficult!> Apparently in freshman basketball they are. But, it's been a great season. The girls are fantastic, they have fun, they work hard, and we're winning! Thank god! When we were losing to Watertown (no offense Gilly!) during the first game I had images of myself resigning and never showing my face again in the basketball arena. Luckily, we pulled it together. It was a scary few minutes though. It was also during those scary few minutes that I had another one of my "aha moments" , as Oprah would call them...
The thought of losing petrified me. I was standing on the sideline and forced myself to think, "What if you lost>" My stomach started to turn and I felt pure anxiety rush through me. It is a feeling similar to what happened every single time I turned in a paper or exam during grad school. What if I didn't get an A> Then what> The results are somewhat out of my control. That is terrifying. One reason I almost didn't take the position was out of fear of losing. That (and time commitment) is why I passed up the J.V. job. I've lost plenty of times in my life as a player, but over the past years we have won so much. Not to mention, the 9th grade team has gone undefeated for the past few years. So, the fear that a loss would come with me coaching was too much. It's strange the ways in which my perfectionism rears its ugly head. I am one of those people that fears so much of not doing something just right that they won't even start. I have a feeling that losing a game would have the same impact that one of my grad school grades had on me... meaning I never let it go and god forbid anyone brings it up because then it all comes back full force. It's like PTSD! Anyway. I'm special, I know that.
New Years was a blast. Tim and I trekked out to Corning, New York, for the event of the year- The Connor's- Platzer wedding. Other than the wedding itself, the highlight of the trip would have to be when Tim and I were spotted on the street and interviewed for the NY news. Yes, you read that right! Now, let me paint this picture for you. Snowing. Freezing cold temperatures. We had driven 6+ hours the night before, got into town around 11 and headed right to the hotel bar. Woke up the next morning feeling a little "off my game". Just tired, etc, trying to prep for the night ahead. Tim and I head out into the wonderful town of Corning looking for some essentials (like, a hair straightener or curling iron because I left both of mine at home- found a 2-in-1 actually! how perfect!) I looked smashing in my pajama pants, uggs, huge knit hat, and dress coat- and not a stitch of makeup. What a lucky day to get interviewed to be on TV! Seriously! Now, I realize that I am not the type of person that looks impeccable when I go out, but I usually have on mascara with my sweats, or at least a fleece jacket and not some dressy jacket that totally doesn't match! Then during the interview, I completely dropped the ball. First I was trying to take the microphone from the woman, I really thought I had to hold it to talk into it, I didn't realize she was just extending it out for us to talk into! Then, I got nervous and kept looking at Tim... Tim who sounded like he was running for office. It was not a shining moment for me. It reminded me of something that would happen to Bridget Jones. Like that scene when she is sliding down the fire station pole on tv.... yea, along the lines of that. But, hey, whatever! We still got an on the street interview! Who knew Corning was so hopping that they sent news stations out there.
Six months ago, when my Grandmother passed away, people kept saying, "Well, she lived a long good life". I know it was supposed to make us all feel better, but I remember thinking that I was glad she lived a long, good life, but why couldn't she just live a little longer> It is always hard to lose someone you love and care about, however, I now realize more than ever, that there is comfort in knowing that someone has passed after living a full life. This past week has been a difficult one, to say the least. It is hard not to reflect on your own mortality, or how fragile life really is when you experience the passing of someone so young. This is something I will post on in the near future, when I am better able to sit down and organize my thoughts. It is still too fresh.
Simon is hanging in there. Currently his ears are the problem. Its always something! However, the double yeast infections he has there are beginning to clear. It's really lovely. We affectionately call him "Cheese Wheel". That is disgustingly in reference to the smell of his ears. haha. Gross, gross. I know... luckily in all of its grossness we find it funny and somewhat endearing. Oh my little cheese head.
All in all, it's been a rollercoaster around here. I will be updating soon on some of the things I have walked with from everything that has happened in the past week and a half.... Hope everyone is well.
p.s. Tim and I have discussed this and have concluded that if anyone knows someone hiring and can get tim a position, then they will be compensated, or rewarded (whichever word makes you more motivated to achieve) substantially... we were thinking maybe a week long visit from Simon!> cheese ears and all!!!
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